21st
1. He’s not cheating on you, so fuck him already!
Where I Met Your Husband: out of town bar, undisclosed
When We Started Talking About You: just after midnight, Feb. 19, 2009
City of You & Your Husband’s Residence: Salt Lake City
Your Husband’s Age: 36
How Long the Two of You Have Been Married: 9 years
How Drunk Your Husband Was When We Talked About You: way, way drunk
Your husband is a good guy. He throws around words like “pussy” and “cunt” much too freely when he’s drunk, away from you and comfortable. (Yes, YOUR husband.) But he’s ultimately a good guy. When I asked him if he’s ever cheated on you, he said “absolutely not”, and I believe him. He said that he of course fantasizes about fucking other women all the time, but he’d never act on it. He meant what he said in front of your families and friends the day you were married. At least the stuff about fidelity. But he does “wack off” to porn and the thought of other women whenever he gets a chance.
Your husband wishes you’d fuck him more often. He wants you to know that he’d like more sex. His friends used to tell him that once he married you, the sex would dry up. Back then, the two of you fucked at the drop of a hat (or your panties), so he didn’t believe them for a second. But now that he’s said “I do,” you don’t. He doesn’t need it ALL the time. Just a lot more than you’re giving it to him. If you fuck him once a month now, start fucking him once a week.
He also wants you to know that he’s happy that anytime he asks you for sex, you oblige, but he would love it if you’d initiate the sex every once in a while. He wouldn’t mind initiating 4 times for every 1 time you do. Most of his brain(s) is in his pants, but there’s a small bit that does need to be seduced every once in a while. And the fact that you NEVER initiate really is a bummer for him. How can you expect him to find you smokin’ hot after 9 years and you NEVER EVER put your hand on his cock and beg him to get you off. That’s ridiculous. He’s your husband. You love him. So fuck him more!
He’s not going to start cheating on you if you don’t give him more sex after reading this. But he will continue to be secretly bitter towards you for it.
